WELL, I’m yet pressing on! When I first set out on this “getting it back” venture, I figured the farther along I went, the more fighting with the enemy I would be doing. Man, I had no idea he would be pulling it out his big guns within the first week of me deciding to reclaim my identity! Today, I’m not only going to share with you the types of experiences I’ve been having since I set out on this journey, but I’ll also speak frankly with you about how I have had to combat the enemy over the last few days.
I made a declaration at the beginning of the summer, that I would not allow the enemy to keep me in the depths of despair nor would I allow him to make me a prisoner in my own home. Keep in mind, this is a deliberate, daily decision that I have to make. There are days, even moments throughout the day, when I really want to respond solely based on how I feel. Can I suggest something to you women of God? Don’t EVER give the enemy that kind of satisfaction! He would LOVE to see you in a corner somewhere, distraught, frazzled, and unable to control yourself. It doesn’t do a thing for your fight, and honestly it’s not attractive. I know that seems like a really trite detail considering what I’m fighting for, but trust me on this. Looking like a champion even when you’re getting your butt kicked by life goes a long way! At the very least, your spouse, friends and family, and really anyone watching you go through your journey, will see that you are made of tough stuff. Your choice to fight gracefully and not get dirty will ultimately point your spouse to Jesus. That should be the intent behind your actions.
I spent the evening with some friends, honestly finishing up grades from the school year. It was a work related gathering, but as usual we found time to talk about non work-related things. I always take pleasure in talking to these ladies. First and foremost, they are saved and love the Lord. This is of the utmost importance to me, as my walk with Christ is paramount. There is nothing more important, or more sacred. I truly want God to receive the glory from my life. I remember a time when it was not even a priority, and I confessed Christ! That’s another post though! Anyway, we were talking about marriage, or at least their own concerns with entering a marriage covenant. Notice I said covenant. I didn’t say a convenient arrangement, contract, or business deal. Marriage is a covenant. My friends, both aware of this, talked about some of the examples of marriages that they saw. They ranged from premature divorce, extramarital affairs and just an overall distrust with men who are supposedly single. I realized then that my stand was about so much more than just me. I now had people watching me, wondering, even if they were not saying so, how I was going to walk out my vows. They, and maybe others, now have a front row seat in to this journey.
This is expressly what I want to communicate with you- someone is watching you! They may never come right out and say it, and you may feel like you are the only person in the world who is going through what you going through. You are not alone though! The Bible is replete with people who have suffered and gone through trials, simply because they wanted to live out the covenant they made with Christ. You may have walked down the aisle to a man, or woman (for the men who are following me), but the vows you made were a three-way covenant between you, God and your spouse. You’re not only one with your spouse, but the two of you are one with God! The moment you try to sustain a marriage without God, you will run into pit falls and issues of all kinds. Ask me how I know! I’m so guilty of caring more about pleasing my husband and making sure he knew I was committed, than I was about pleasing the Lord, and making sure he knew I was sold out for him. Thank the Lord for his grace and mercy! I have the opportunity to now make a stand for him, bigger than any stand I’ve ever taken in my life. It’s made me a huge target for the enemy, and many times, in the natural, it can be a really lonely place. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I am not alone. Christ Jesus, the hope of glory, has already gone through this lonely place for me. There is nothing more lonely than a cross of shame, and dying a cruel death for people who have rejected you over and over again. What I’m dealing with doesn’t come close! Whatever you may be dealing with doesn’t compare to the agony that Christ suffered because of a covenant he made with the Father about our salvation. It is this covenant through which I am able to pick up my cross each and every day and work on “getting it back!” Let those same convictions propel you forward, no matter what the cost.