Emotions are often a tangled up mess of perfection… we know exactly how we feel, and yet fail to express it adequately and sometimes appropriately. Our outbursts, breakdowns, and ranting and raving somehow allow us to reach out and touch our humanity. I heard a well-known pastor say that this concept of “feelings” is the fundamental difference between us and the animals. We are not prompted to mitigate the woes of living and breathing simply through instinct. We have the ability to act more civil, even if our emotions betray us.
I thought it fitting to open up this series and deal more with some of the more emotional aspects of this journey. The truth is, that an undertaking of this magnitude has the potential to be harassing on my psyche. By making a decision to forego the natural responses that come when people face incredibly difficult decisions or pressure that swells to the point of combustion, I am subjecting myself to the proverbial scenic route, and the look out of the window can be more like a tropical storm than a breeze from the tropics. While there are no quick and easy fixes to the issues that come with trying to engage in a healthy, meaningful relationship with your spouse, ON TOP OF having the desire to glorify God while sustaining said relationship, you can really do a number on yourself. It is one thing to want to remain dignified and upstanding while dealing with storms in your life. This is not just a biblical concept. These are choices that mothers are making for the sake of modeling kindness in front of their children. These same choices are made when a good man heads home again knowing their tired, but well-meaning wife will greet them at the door nagging and complaining about how much more he could be doing around the house. Emotions are real and even the kindest individuals can be affected by them.
So today I got in touch with my emotions. I was irritated and acted as much. I was frustrated and said as much. I needed a moment alone and so took it. I laughed in an expression of sincere happiness and let out sighs of relief and sighs through closed teeth. I made it a point to express my feelings without going overboard. I didn’t always respond the way I should, but those things have dissipated for the day and with impending rest comes an opportunity to start anew and relate to yourself again the next day.