Silence.

My head hurts from all the silence. 

I wish I could communicate

What could possibly alleviate

The headache 

That houses my silence. 

If I spoke up maybe he would respond.

If I breathed louder perhaps he would look up,

Put his phone up,

Open his heart up.

Maybe. 

Since I can’t be sure, I retreat into a place

Into myself where hearts are beating, 

Like the beating of drums, 

And soft hums replace the whir  of the fans

Now currently trying to cool down my emotions.

Here I can think.

Say out loud that I’m on the brink 

Of quitting.

“Is this what you want?”, I ask in this place

Where there is not a trace of fear of confirming the known

It’s known that I fight, that I struggle

Alone.

Worked my fingers to the bone

Still living in my house but it’s not a home

Not anymore

I exit my inner and once the outer

Comes into view

I do what I always said I wouldn’t.

I hold it in. 

Think it to myself instead of saying it out loud, 

For fear someone is listening. 

Afraid he might hear my silent cries and quiet screams.

Silence. 

My head hurts from all the silence. 

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