Day 25! I’m starting to feel the weight of this walk, and I’d like to share it with you.
Can I be honest? This is HARD! It doesn’t get easier. The days that I haven’t posted or even visited my blog or some of the most mentally foggy days for me. On those days I spend most of the day in and out of prayer, just really trying to discerning how the Holy Spirit wants me to navigate my life. This is my life! It’s not me living vicariously through someone else and then telling you about it. The details are my details, my sorrows and defeats and my preaching to myself when I insert scripture into these posts. Many times I’ve poured out my heart in the midst of heated emotions and swirling thoughts. This journey is day by day stripping away the those things in me that will not contribute to my betterment as a person. It’s rough, and it doesn’t feel good, but I trust that God is bringing these things together for my good and his glory.
At almost a month into this thing, you may be wondering how long this process will continue. How many more posts will go under “The Journey” category? I have the same questions. The same concerns. I too wonder sometimes wonder if this is the way that the Lord has set me in, or if this is what Jessica felt like she needed to do. If it was up to Jessica, this would be done! But it isn’t up to me. I made a choice to stand on the word of God, walk this thing out with all the issues, and give what I don’t understand to God. I don’t know what you believe or in whom you believe. Maybe you only acknowledge God as a higher power and that’s it. Perhaps you’re completely thrown off by the notion that there is anything or anyone that cares enough about you to intervene in your life. I believe in faith that God is not only in existence, but he cares deeply for me. I know that I can give him those things that are too heavy for me to carry, and I do! I’m thankful for what the Holy Spirit has allowed me to privy to during this juncture in my life. I trust that things I don’t know are unknown to me for my own good and due to God’s timing. Whatever happens, I believe God reveals himself in every detail of our lives no matter what we are going through. If he’s involved, that’s enough for me to stand on.