For whatever reason I’m up at this hour, instead of fully asleep or nursing my baby girl. She, surprisingly, is knocked out herself. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m awake. My mind sure has been most of the day. I learned today that I was human and susceptible to same battle in my head that everyone else is. I face the same kinds of dilemmas that anyone in the trenches of a relationship does… I’m no different. Today I took care to observe my trenches and see that I was fighting the right way. There are so many times I’ve wanted to fight wrong, knowing that I would risk it all if I did.
I’m maturing a little day by day. I’ve learned not to take personal slights toward me, so personal. I’ve learned that God is available to have the kinds of talks I wish I could have with people. He makes himself available to me when I least expect I need to talk to him, and he’s especially attentive when I need him the most. There isn’t a day that I don’t need him. It’s just a matter of how bad. I’ve learned to cherish the moments of ease and calm, knowing full well that disruption lurks around the corner.
Finally today, I was able to understand. I’m not the only one fighting. His fight may be on a different and his approach may be different, but what is at stake is the same. That is enough for me to stay committed. That’s enough for me.