What’s the worst thing someone could ever say about the state of a relationship with another person? Well especially if it’s romantic in nature, the words “it’s complicated” certainly crack top ten worst phrases to say when in a relationship. The truth is, you don’t have to be in a “situationship” as I’ve heard certain kinds of complicated relationships named, in order to have an experience that is just plan old complicated.
Complications for me very widely! Recently it’s been me having to evaluate the kind of marriage I really wanted with my husband after almost three years and three children. That evaluation birthed the “Getting It Back” series that I’ve been posting the last month or so. Marriage is where it started, but certainly not where it ended. I really think, and this could just be me, that things get the most complicated when you began to question them and look at them with a different perspective. Whenever I can’t readily accept, whenever you can’t readily accept what is being presented at face-value, it can bring up some issues.
Like a long-lost half-sister that you haven’t seen or spoken to in almost a decade.
The same person that at one point you were making efforts to stay connected to, but the connection never lasted long. You know, wrong numbers, no responses to messages on FB even though you can clearly see she is alive not to mention actively updating.
Said person now wants to build meaningful connection.
For me that’s complicated, because there’s this notion of out of sight, out of mind. Like I’ve really been alright without this complication. Plus, I have existing complications, like family stuff that I’m trying to work through. Lord please help me!
Anyway you see what I’m getting at!
The existence of a complication of any kind just means whatever you are trying to work through in your mind, or talk yourself through, isn’t going to be resolved through the standard procedures. As a matter of fact, trying to take it on the way you would any other issue in your life, just makes it a more complicated situation.
For instance, responding to a text from said half-sister about visiting, without proper considerations. Even blogging about this right now…super complicated!
The truth is the parts of our lives that are too complicated, too messy, and just way too confusing for us to figure out on our own, are exactly the kinds of situations Jesus wants us to hand over to him. In His word, he reminds us that “we should take his “complications” upon us because they are easy and light (Matthew 11:28-30). Okay so maybe He doesn’t say complications exactly, but I can assure you that when He put it in His word, he considered whatever complications we are facing right now, and He is more than ready to take the load off.
So yes, you’re having a hard time coming to a conclusion about your situation. Maybe you’ve been in and out of the valley of decision. You don’t have to remain there. Allow the Holy Spirit to untangle the mess, and show you what you should do. That’s not complicated. That’s as simple as it gets.