So needless to say I have taken a very long break since the last post! I’ve been enjoying the summer at home with my kids, and then I went back to work about two weeks ago to prepare for the upcoming school year. Oh yea, I’m a teacher by the way! I get the great privilege of caring for five and six-year olds during the school year. This is year five and I’m absolutely looking forward to all the excitement that comes with it.
Teaching is a passion. I have watched my students change and grow over the years, and I’ve watched their parents change and grow too. I myself have changed and grown as a teacher and a woman over the last five years. This year though is different. This year will BE different.
I went through life changes as I in each year that passed as a teacher. I met my husband and we dated one school year. I got engaged to him, the following year. We were married my third year teaching and had children in my fourth year of teaching. Needless to say life has changed for me, and I found myself longing for the beginning of those parts of my life. I miss the newness of trying to figure out what kind of teacher I wanted to be. I miss the newness of falling in love.
I miss daydreaming about talking the person I love and then getting excited when he finally called me. I miss our first dance. I miss being vulnerable and knowing I could be.
I miss discovering that I could actually impact the life of a child. I miss the first time I really hit it off with one of my parents and forged that all important partnership for the benefit of my student. I miss when it finally clicked!
This year will be different. Everything that I have experienced right up until this new school year, means something. I’m sure of it. Every heartache, every disappointment, every moment of darkness and despair, every laugh and smile, and everything that I have had to process and deal with in my life over these past four years, has been a training ground for what is coming in year five. As a child of God, I don’t believe in happen stance. God puts a great deal of emphasis on the years, and numbers concerning people. The number 5 is representative of grace. I’m not sure what has in store for me. I don’t how he’s going to deal with the potholes that have accumulated in my life over the last five years. I know that his “grace is sufficient for me, and that his strength is made perfect in weakness.” There are a great deal of things that I miss about the beginning stages of my life as I know it. I’m nostalgic about when it was new and unscathed and not difficult to love and hope and persevere. Like I mentioned in another post, I have to take my own advice and can only visit the past. I’m sure that my latter will be greater than my former, and that I will be infused with a grace to do what I could not do on my own. Whatever gaps need filling, I’m covered by the grace of God.